This article tells the story of Mary*, a woman who escaped domestic violence. While handled gently, the content is heavier than our other articles and may not be suitable for all readers.
I was introduced to my ex-husband through a friend. I knew he had a difficult past, but I gave him a chance because I believed him when he said he had made a mistake.
The controlling behaviours came in slowly… what to wear, who to talk to. It didn’t take long before I realised I was in danger.
I tried to get away multiple times, but he would always come back to make my life unbearable until he went too far. He beat me badly and ended up in prison.
It didn’t end when he came out and, at that point, I was terrified of losing my flat and becoming homeless.
The day he held me at knife point was when I knew I had to leave, or I wouldn’t live to tell my story. He could’ve killed me and my children that day.
I remember thinking I would never get over it - why did I have to leave my home and why did he get away so lightly?
I went through long court processes where I had to relive my pain and battle for the custody of my son while dealing with people not believing me.
B3Living helped me get out of that situation. They quickly moved me and my children into a more secure flat. It was incredibly difficult to leave everything behind and start over again, but I knew I had to for the safety of my family.
Even though my new flat is smaller than the previous one, I got help getting furniture and fitting the carpets. And, most importantly, my children and my pets are safe.
Tracey, at B3Living, helped me access food vouchers and parcels from the foodbank when I didn’t even know I could do that. She put me in touch with services such as Safer Places and Refuge where I was able to open up and talk about what he had done to me.
Counselling and the Triple R courses were hard to go through at the time, but they really did help.
It's strange how the world carries on when you feel like you will never recover. How did a six-month relationship lead to a physically, emotionally and financially abusive marriage to now being in a full-time job with my two children and pets?
I feel like my life is back in check.
I never thought I would live a normal life again. One step at a time, I managed to feel confident in myself again and get a job in healthcare.
There really is light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know where I’d be without all the people that helped me.
We are a split family now, and my heart is broken over that, but I’ve learnt that it is ok to not be ok. I just wished that the process of getting help when you’ve experienced domestic violence was easier and less painful.
I hope that me telling my experience can help people like me find the courage to get help and learn about all the different services that exist that might help take that step.
At B3Living, we want our homes to be a safe space for all the women living in them. Combatting gender-based violence is one of the ways we're working to accelerate action towards gender equality. This International Women's Day, we're celebrating all the partners that work with us to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our customers experiencing domestic violence.
Don't suffer in silence. We're here to help.
*Name has been changed to protect our customer’s identity